Correspondently challenged

I like to think I make a good friend when I'm around. But it stops at that. When we enter the morbid zone of "long distance" friendship, I become despicable. I promise to email, but rarely ever do. We could chat from time to time when fate deems we meet online. I would text message only in reply, rarely initiating one myself. There will be times when I won't even answer texts. I'd keep putting it off until it eventually slips my mind. Like I said, absolutely despicable. I just do not possess that gene that makes me a good "stay in touch" friend. I miss my friends terribly and painfully, yet it manifests itself only in the form of a depression, and yet do little to stay in touch. I baffle even myself.

How do my friends react? It varies. A portion of them decide that I'm worthless scum and delete me from their phone book or rename me: "worthless scum"(okay I'm spicing it up a bit ,but there's some truth to it). Some enter a vicious circle of hating me, forgiving me, loving me, hating me, forgiving me, loving me, ad infinitum. They haven't learnt to adjust their expectations of me yet. I'm hoping they will, eventually.

Others, would get upset with me at first. But after we reunite again, and they see how I'm still the same loving friend who heartily admits to being a lousy correspondent and apologizes profusely, and swears by the fatty layers around her fat cat's tummy that they've been on my mind all the time, they come to terms with the truth. I love them to bits but I'm just a plain lousy stay-in-touch person. I'm not proud of it, but at least I'm not in denial. I am openly owning up to it, and if that isn't big of me, then... oh who are we kiddin it is big of me:P

The third category constitutes my dearest friend in the whole wide world, Donia. We are scarily similar in a lot of things (scary in the sense that one would think that ONE person like me in the universe is more than enough) This being no different, she happens to be just as lousy a correspondent as I am. So it works well. And yet our friendship is preserved beautifully. There are times when we'd literally be sending emails daily and cracking each other up, but it doesn't last too long (but when it does, boy I get stomach cramps from all the chuckling). We also make it a point to have a reunion every once in a while. All it takes is an extra long hug and an all nighter of babbling about the entire events of the past 2 years and it feels as if we've only been apart for a day. All has been taken care of.

But every now and then I get sudden pangs of guilt and I go into "mass emailing, texting and calling mode". I suddenly get a panic "OMG I'M GONNA DIE FRIENDLESS" attack and rush to make amends. Yesterday was one of those days. I went and invested in some calling cards. There were so many calls I sincerely meant to make ages ago but never got around to it, not (I swear) for lack of sincere wanting. But because as mentioned above I am a hopeless case.

My first call had to be to my best friend back in college who is now in the midst of her medical school final exams! She was evidently (do you blame her?) surprised but utterly thrilled to receive my supportive phone call. I mean lets face it, this is the same friend who, as a very last resort, gave me a plant to fly home with me (yes I carried it along with me on the plane). She made me promise to send her a text message every time I watered the plant, which was every, umm, I'm not sure anymore. What did I do? I killed the poor thing. Well if you must know, that's another area I suck at. I'll adopt and raise all the animals you want. But no plant can survive with me. Its like I suck the green out of them. I didn't exactly send her a "She'd dead" message, but I guess she eventually found out, from the lack of messages that is. Yet she still calls me her friend. I wouldn't still call me a friend!!

Then I had to call Jumana and Hanna, my two awesome buddies from Sabila days. They were getting engaged!! I've been putting off sending them emails or messages congratulating them for so long that nothing less than a phone call would've sufficed.
I tried to call a couple of other friends, but couldn't reach them. I'll have to call them again.

The point is, during this most recent friend-related panic attack I have made a mid-year resolution. This cannot go on. I mean, for crying out loud I claim to support Greenpeace and can't keep a plant alive for a day. I know what you're thinking, I should take a gardening course? I think not. I have a better chance sending emails. So I am going to make a fabulous transformation from an utter hopeless case to a KICK ASS correspondent! Just watch me.

So, my friends out there (who I seriously doubt even know this blog exists), empty your mailbox cuz you're in for some serious flooding!
This weekend is going to be dedicated entirely for email. Next weekend at the latest. Yep definitely around that time. More or less. Does this post count as staying in touch? Cuz I think it should. No?