My Fairly Odd Obsession

My article in Bazaar Mag for this month was inspired from my work place. For that reason, I thought it should also find its way into my blog! So brace yourselves.. oh, this is not going to be deep by the way. Thought I might point that out. Some sort of disclaimer :P

My Fairly Odd Obsession

Aah, the sheer joy of laminating. It’s quite the miracle, really. I could sit for hours watching ordinary papers gracefully slide through the machine, then slowly emerge in their new and improved forms; timeless, fade-less and indestructible objects worthy of admiration- mine at least.

I do not hesitate for a second as I declare (off the record, please and thank you) that the best aspect of being an elementary teacher is the constant and pressing need to laminate stuff- an endeavor I am only too keen to embark on. The excitement and thrill I associate with lamination is, to tell you the truth, a bit worrying and cannot possibly be healthy. But I'm hooked. I'm in- ALL in. It's not a love affair, it's a relationship.

My wishful thoughts often take me far as I imagine how exquisite it would be if I were able to laminate actual things (as opposed to being restricted to paper). I must admit that I have reached what I myself humbly consider to be nothing short of revelations. I choose to share some, hoping that one day I might live to see them brought to life.

Oh what the heck, it's not like any of this is gonna happen, I might as well stretch my imagination a bit. Okay a lot.

Things I wish I could laminate:

• My hiking boots- poor things. My heart breaks every time I'm reminded of their sorry state. All tattered and torn, covered in what has become a permanent layer of mud, and smelling positively of swamps and "bala3eet" (a term introduced to me by my always innovative cousin, supposedly referring to tadpoles. To this day he insists it's an official word) I don't have the heart to throw them away, they have been my faithful companions through many a canyons and warm camp fires. I am not ready to bid my farewells, not yet.

• My Smelly Cat Peanut. Just imagine what a breeze it would be to "wipe him clean", instead of it being one heck of a risky business; one that often results in human outcries and a nasty collection of bleeding scratches. Plus, with his hair no longer free to shed, I would be theoretically allergy free! (Not really since I'm also allergic to dust, humidity and naughty kids in class) Wouldn't that be grand?

• My watch: It might be the fact that I flail my arms around a tad too much, or that my watch is suicidal, or it might just be a common case of bad luck. Whichever the case may be, the actual survival of my watches constantly falls ridiculously short of the official life expectancy of your average Swatch. And even when they're still working, they are scratched beyond recognition. So lamination would help a lot, that and a little bit of cushioning. Yep, that sounds just about right. I might even write to the guys at Swatch, sharing this revolutionary thought. I think I will.

• All my wardrobe. Or at least just my favorite outfits. I'm a hopeless case. I would always find a way to stain my clothes while eating. The newer the outfit or the dearer it is to my heart, the faster it is ruined. It's not a question of will I stain, it's more of a what and where and how creative will I be this time.

• Facial Lamination anyone? What better way to stop those wrinkles from etching their way onto your youthful countenance? At last, eternal youth is guaranteed. Oh and I daresay it’s much cheaper than Botox injections. Not that I’d know! Ew.

That’ll do for now I guess. Better not get overly ambitious from the very start. We’ll get there eventually; one lamination sheet at a time!
Yep. I am a lamination freak, how did you know?