"If it's bitter at the start, then it's sweeter in the end"

These were the lyrics of the song playing on the radio as I drove home from work last Sunday. To put it mildly, I've had better days. As I rubbed my aching neck, I wondered if time would prove those lyrics true. Was the rough start I was going through going to lead me to a sweet end? Does that mean at the end of the year I'll have the ideal smooth-running classroom filled with eager and involved kids? I found the idea comforting... and so sang along with passion!

Little did I know I would be getting a glimpse of that 'sweet end' much sooner than that- this Wednesday to be specific- in my last lesson of the day.

Far be it from me to pretend to be an expert- my teaching skills are still budding!- but I think I would venture and call that lesson a success.

I won't lie to you, the promise of leaving the classroom with a cookie to munch on, on their way to their next lesson, was enough motivation to put half the class on "mute". But still, their involvement and enthusiasm was hard to miss.

We were studying the process of Photosynthesis, in which a plant "makes its own food". The other teacher working with me (teaches girls- what a blessing!), shared this creative idea with me: we would be cooking in the classroom! She said it was a success last year. We would make a simple recipe called "Chocolate Crispies", and compare between our food-making and the plant's. Just to give you an idea, it's basically this:

Ms. Mariam's Recipe:

Mars + Rice crispies ---- (energy to mix)----> chocolate crispies +

paper wrappings (extra. thrown out)

Mr. Plant's Recipe:

Water + CO2 ---- (energy to mix from sunlight)-------> sugar +

O2 (extra. thrown out)

And so I entered the classroom with Mars bars and Rice crispies, and the boys' eyes were sparkling! They almost jumped out of their seats (some actually did) when I asked who would like to be my "assistant chef", and chuckled as I wore my pink apron and gave the assistant chef his blue one!

I was gonna give this lesson 4 times (for my four different classes) and it was a success the first three times. I had fun and they had fun, but most importantly, they grasped the concept and I believe will be retaining it in their "little minds" for years to come:)

But the fourth and last lesson was something else. By the time it was their turn, the news about "goodies in the science classroom" was already out. So when I went to pick them up from the English classroom, I was bombarded with a dozen "Teacher will we eat today???", "Teacher will we make a cake today???" (A CAKE- what the?). I smiled and gave a happy "Yep!" in answer.

Then, I saw the golden opportunity and instantly seized it. One of those eager boys was the boy who gave me the hardest time ever last lesson (when I asked his English teacher who taught him last year about him- she said he was very weak in English and thus not aware or interested in what is happening in the classroom, and ends up spending the entire lesson troublemaking!). So when he enquired if we will be making the "cake", I knelt down and smiled and said "oh yeah! and it's gonna be SO much fun. And you know what? I think I'll make you my assistant chef! But only if you promise to behave?"- BINGO! He was an ANGEL that lesson. As it turns out, all you need is to neutralize the star troublemaker, then the rest of the class follows suit!

I don't think I was more involved in anything I've ever done than in that particular lesson. The whole class was on fire! They were about to burst with excitement as I threw questions at them (giving out 'group points' for every correct answer, and when they reach ten points they'd move a step up on the Rocket Bulletin Board). I can honestly tell you, I almost had each and every child's attention in every step of the way. I could see it in their eyes, they were having fun learning!

These 40 minutes, made my day- heck they made my entire week!

I realize fully that one successful lesson with one of my classes does not in any way mean I've got it covered. It might mean I'm heading in the right direction (hopefully!)- but my journey is only starting.
The impact of this lesson on me, however, was momentous. It was the life ring that pulled my- by then- about to sink spirits, up for a long-due breath. And I suspect will be keeping them afloat for at least some time:)

You see, my week had a far less rosy start. I'm not particularly thrilled to remember it, but I feel that for this to be a truthful documentation of my teaching experience, I must share the downs as I do the ups.

It was a disastrous Sunday, though it didn't promise to be one. I was taking the kids up to the "visual lab", to watch a very cute educational animation about plants on data show- sounds simple and fun enough? Think again. The boys had other plans, and as soon as I got them up, they were out of control. I had to yell and threaten for what seemed like eternity before they were silent enough to listen to me or the data show, and even then I was still facing trouble.

I hated myself for yelling, and hated the boys for making me yell, and was sure they hated me as well. This was repeated with more than one class, and so by the end of the day.. I was reduced to tears!

Oh yes, you read that right. I fought back my tears just long enough to take the last class to their next lesson then hurried towards my classroom (my initial thought was to go to my friend's classroom, but I knew I was gonna cry, so prefered to avoid a scene and cry in the privacy of my own classroom!) Yeah right. I stormed in and was mortified to find my HOD waiting for me inside. It was too late to hold back my tears, I was already sobbing. The poor lady was surprised! But was very sweet about it. She said some nice things to me, and asked me to go freshen up and come back. I went and washed my face and was heading back when I passed by my friend who looked at me and asked "what's wrong?"- that's all it took. The water works were back.

How embarrassing. I hate to think, but I suspect a substantial amount of people knew about my "emotional outburst" if you will, since I got more than my fair share of hugs that day every time I passed by a teacher!!

When I went home, my neck, shoulders and back were SO tense and aching (I suspect from all the yelling), and my rib cage felt as if someone has punched me over and over, full force. It was painful to breathe, to speak in anything louder than a whisper, and laughing or coughing was honest to God agony. I was an utter mess. It took me two days to get my voice back and be able to laugh without wincing in pain afterwards.

To give you an idea of how utterly seeped out of energy I was, the next day I went in for a short "nap" at 6 p.m. and woke up... the very next morning!

They say the good thing about having a 'down', is that you know you can only be heading up from there. And you appreciate any improvement no matter how small or seemingly trivial.

I might've had less-than-positive feelings towards my students that Sunday, but I can assure you they were momentary and fleeting. It's only been 2 weeks, but I already genuinly care for them. And I'm learning how important it is to let them know you care.

I make it a point to smile, wink or jokingly poke each and every boy of my students when I see them in the corridors or down in the playground. Even if that was the boy I put in time-out just a few minutes ago cuz he drove me mad. I'd smile at him, assuring him that I do care. I feel by doing that I'm sending them a clear message: our relationships goes beyond the restricting walls of a classroom. I care for your learning because I'm your teacher, but I also care for you, simply because you're You!