Fight or Flight?

Me: Ahmed, didn't you hear what I just said? You should have your red folder on your desk.
Ahmed: It's not with me
Me: Then take it out of your bag.
Ahmed: But I don't have my bag.
Me: I told you to bring your bag with you to class, very well, go get it from outside.
Ahmed: But I dont' have it.
Me: You don't have your bag?
Ahmed: Yes, I forgot it at home today.
Me: You came to school without your school bag?
Ahmed: Yep.
Me: Just you, with your hands dangling at your sides?
Ahmed: Yep.
Me: Are you for real?
Ahmed: Well my mom kept saying "hurry hurry" so I hurried and forgot to get my bag!
Me: Oh.

This conversation sent me into a fit of laughs that lasted me the entire day!

Aah, kids. Leave it to them to add a tang of humour to the dullest of situations. But that's not the only thing they're good at; they are also very talented when it comes to driving anyone half-mad. Trust me, I would know.
In my classroom, the boys have distributed this responsibility amongst them all, so that everyone is contributing something to my madness- isn't that sweet of them?:)
The categories include (but are not exlcusive to):

1. The group of boys who never ever raise their hands. They just never do that. But then when they sense that it is the time in the lesson when everyone (including me!) is most involved , or better yet, when I ask a challenging question and everyone's thinking of the answer, this is when they strike! They raise there hands very enthusiastically and I think to myself: BINGO, I've broke their silence!
"Yes?" I say to them, full of fragile hopes. "There's a little ant walking on the floor next to your foot? Need me to kill it?" or, "Can I go to the bathroom?" or worse, "Can I blow my nose", and the grand finale, "Teacher Abdulla ate my sandwitch in recess".
Fragile hopes shattered to a million pieces! :P

2. To describe this second group I can only visualize a tornado striking! This group's job doesn't begin until after the bell rings, in the couple of minutes it takes me to line the kids up and walk them to their next lesson. They are extremely diligent, effective and always deliver what they promise. And in their case it's pushing and shoving each and every desk and chair out of its place (bonus points if you put the chairs ON the desks!), leaving the class looking like it just witnessed a wrestling match (one that involved throwing desks at one another!).

3. Then there's the "opposite bunch". If I say open your book, they open their copybooks. If I say use a pencil, they use a pen. If I say color in green, they color in yellow. If I say color in whatever color you want, they insist I specify a color and when I do, they don't use it!

4. This group waits patiently as I explain, re-explain and re-re-explain the assignment, demostrating every step and talking in a slow clear voice to make sure everyone understands. Then I say: Okay start!
"But teacher what should we do?"

5. This group must think I'm blind or something. Right in front of me, in broad daylight he punches his friend or kicks him or something.
Me: Khaled! We NEVER hit, you know that.
Khaled: Teacher I didn't hit him!

I could think of a dozen more things (for I must say they are creative, new categories are added every day!), but I'm already falling asleep, so I better hit the sheets! My sleeping pattern is so messed up in Ramadan. I wake up pretty cranky in the morning, and I'm usually a morning person. But when I get my first class for the day, any traces of sleepiness or crankiness is instantly washed away, to be replaced by a rush of adrenaline... which is (if you are familiar with biology) what your body secretes in the typical "Fight or Flight" response to danger. Until now, I'm choosing to "Fight"! ;)